Reading
Wetlands
by
Charlotte Roche
The Globe, George's St, Dublin.
15th October 2013
One Sentence Summaries
Ramius Valderón: itS MEGMA once you BRAKE the back of it.
Mycroft Webb: Charlotte Roche. More like Hot Rectal Chore.
William Clay: Scheisse.
Whitby Syme: "Charlotte, that's a helluva book. What do you call it?" "The Aristocrats!"
Carl Jameson: (no one sentence summary provided)
Tiger McGavin (in absentia): Wetlands? You mean "Let's try and shove it up my ass"-lands.
(McGavin went on...) It was a book that added nothing to society or to literary sciences. It should be burned, like I wanted to burn my eyes after reading it.
Scores
Whitby Syme: 31/83
Characters: 10/20
Execution: 12/20
Food for thought: 4/10
Plot: 5/20
Extra points: 0/13
Carl Jameson: 44/83
Lady info: 20/20
Quincey Morrisness: 4/10
Butt stuff: 20/53
Ramius Valderón: 19/83
Plot: 4/20
Plausibility: 1/23
Body exploration: 10/20
Length and girth: 4/18
Mycroft Webb: 44/83
Interestingness: 12/20
Well writtenness: 15/25
Plot: 4/15
Quincey Morrisness: 3/13
Weird bonernicity: 10/10
William Clay: 2/83
Dislikable characters: 6/10
Memorableness (unfortunate): 7/10
Motion sickness: 3/5 days
Quincey Morrisness: 0/15
All that's good and decent in Christendom: -14/43
Tiger McGavin: 15/83
Plot: 4/20
Plausibility: 1/23
Body exploration: 10/20
Length and girth: 4/18
Mycroft Webb: 44/83
Interestingness: 12/20
Well writtenness: 15/25
Plot: 4/15
Quincey Morrisness: 3/13
Weird bonernicity: 10/10
William Clay: 2/83
Dislikable characters: 6/10
Memorableness (unfortunate): 7/10
Motion sickness: 3/5 days
Quincey Morrisness: 0/15
All that's good and decent in Christendom: -14/43
Tiger McGavin: 15/83
One might look for trends in such a chart, though I fear the only conclusion we can draw is that the gentlemen of the QMBC are as capable today of polishing published words in their nomination pitches, as they were when the infamous Hero with a Thousand Faces was brought before the group.
Jameson, on pitching Wetlands, aroused certain anticipations in the group which, when confronted with the reality of the book, were struck down as if by the proverbial wooden spoon in the hand of a legitimate masseuse.
Jameson, on pitching Wetlands, aroused certain anticipations in the group which, when confronted with the reality of the book, were struck down as if by the proverbial wooden spoon in the hand of a legitimate masseuse.
Nominations
The theme for this meeting's nominations was 'classics'.
William Clay:
- Confessions of an English Opium-Eater by Thomas De Quincey
- Three Men on the Bummel by Jerome K. Jerome
- Three Men on the Bummel by Jerome K. Jerome
Whitby Syme:
- Lord Jim by Joseph Conrad
- Seven Pillars of Wisdom by T. E. Lawrence
- Seven Pillars of Wisdom by T. E. Lawrence
Carl Jameson:
- The Man Who Folded Himself by David Gerrold
(Jameson acknowledged that a novel from 1973 could hardly be considered a classic, except as a classic of the time-travelling-sex-with-self genre.)
(Jameson acknowledged that a novel from 1973 could hardly be considered a classic, except as a classic of the time-travelling-sex-with-self genre.)
Mycroft Webb:
- Moby Dick by Herman Melville
The Voting
Book | Jameson | Webb | Clay | Valderón | Syme | Total |
Confessions | 200 | 200 | - | 300 | 200 | 900 |
Three Men on the Bummel | - | - | - | - | - | - |
Lord Jim | - | 100 | 200 | 100 | - | 400 |
Seven Pillars | 300 | 300 | 300 | - | - | 900 |
The Man Who Folded Himself | - | - | - | - | 100 | 100 |
Moby Dick | 100 | - | 100 | 200 | 300 | 700 |
Next: Seven Pillars of Wisdom
Nearly: Confessions of an English Opium-Eater
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